Up until the revelation that came over me a month ago, I was perfectly fine being single. In fact, I was happily single. To me, I was in the "I'm 30, single, and fabulous" stage of my life.
This weekend, whether I was watching TV, exercising, or sitting on the toilet, I couldn’t help feeling lonely. What was wrong with me? I loved being alone! So why was I feeling lonely? What was the loneliness becoming so overwhelming? I felt smothered by it. Even when I made a point of going out (to the supermarket and the gym), instead of sitting on the couch all weekend, I felt completely alone.
Honestly, a month ago, I was COMPLETELY, TOTALLY OK with being alone without feeling lonely! So what changed? What the heck is wrong with me?
Then I realized what changed. It’s all in my mind! It’s the mentality that changed everything. When I was happily single, being alone was awesome. I could do whatever by myself, such as going to movies, and felt at ease.
Now that I feel ready for a boyfriend, I’ve started to take notice of those with partners, as well as my lack of one. Now that I know what bugged me all weekend, I feel a little better. Knowing that rushing into a relationship blindly will not be the solution, I continue to be patient for the right person to pop into my life. In the mean time, I’ll go back to being that happy single gal.
Oh, and F*CK eHarmony. It costs way too much! I'm not going to renew the membership when it expires this Thursday.